Finding a Spiritual Director takes praying, seeking, asking questions, talking with others, researching, and finally finding that one person who will walk with you on your journey of faith. It is a process that might take longer than you may want but your efforts will be rewarded.
Remember that your Father in heaven “already knows what you need before you ask him.” Your heartfelt desire to go deeper in your spiritual life is already a gift from God. He will guide you towards someone who will provide that need. Trust that the Spirit will guide you to the person who is right for you at the right time.
Understand the necessary qualities of a good spiritual director. The person needs to be trained, faithful, prudent, knowledgeable (about the faith and the spiritual life), and balanced. It is someone who is an excellent listener, honest, willing to challenge you, and make sure you are being honest with yourself. The person doesn’t need to be a genius, or a pastor, priest, or psychologist but it is crucial that they have a mature relationship and walk with God, and that they be authentically engaged in their own pursuit of holiness, so that they speak not only from theory, but also from experience.Your Spiritual Director should be someone you can trust – either someone you already trust, or someone who easily and naturally wins your trust during the first few times you meet.
Start Looking. Research. You may have already been thinking of someone you could ask for a referral. Try asking around around for a respected and experienced spiritual person with training or ask a retreat director in your area for a recommendation. If someone immediately comes to mind as you think about who to ask (an older lay person, a religious, a professor you once had…), start the conversation of asking and seeking. God will open the door.
Ask people you know. Do you currently know any directors? Do you know people who are meeting with a director that they’d recommend? Does someone in your church offer direction? Does your denomination recommend any resources?
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